Where I'm Going Page 2

  “At least that leaves me with plenty of options,” Benji shot back, earning an eye roll from his brother and a laugh from Jackson.

  They finished saying their goodbyes and Benji walked back to the small building that served as the terminal for the private airstrip. He waved as he watched the plane taxi down the runway, and he could see Chase waving back through the tiny window.

  Benji didn’t stop waving and smiling until the plane had become a small dot in the sky. He’d done his best to convince his brother—and himself—that he’d be okay, that he’d find a way to enjoy his stay on the island. After all, he had to admit that it wasn’t the worst problem he could have. He could almost hear his younger brother Riley’s teasing voice. Poor Benji, forced to spend a couple of weeks on a tropical island at a luxury resort. Boo-fucking-hoo.

  And that characterization wasn’t exactly wrong, but it definitely didn’t feel that cut-and-dry, either. Benji just wasn’t wired to let loose and have fun when he could be doing something productive. Something that was important. That made at least some kind of difference, whether it was advancing a career or helping someone realize their dreams.

  Now it was time to focus on his own life and his own dreams—whatever those were. Everything he’d ever done had been so entwined with Chase’s life and ambitions that he’d really stopped thinking of the two of them as separate people. At least, until Chase went and got married.

  So, even though he was still apprehensive about it, it had become clear to Benji that Chase had been right. This was the perfect time to learn how to be on his own, to learn how to be himself for a while.

  If he was being honest, he didn’t even know where to begin. But, like Chase had said, he was in Anguilla. If there was a time to learn, this was it.

  It was Benji’s time.

  2

  Reign

  Reign Forester stepped off the shuttle bus from the airport and spent a moment just taking in his surroundings. To his right was towering palm trees and perfectly manicured bright green grass. To his left, an endless expanse of blue ocean.

  And in front of him, the five-star luxury resort he’d been looking forward to for the past year, when he’d booked and paid for what he’d thought was going to be the ultimate romantic getaway for himself and the man he’d thought at the time he was destined to marry.

  Destiny had other plans, though.

  “Welcome to Anguilla, Mr. Forester. If you’d like to follow me, I’ll show you to your suite.”

  Reign nodded absently, falling into step behind the man whose gleaming white uniform and sparkling smile perfectly reflected the resort he worked at. The island breeze washed over him as they walked along the open-air corridors to his room, and Reign had to suppress a grimace at the sight of so many laughing, smiling couples along the way. It felt like he was the only single person in the place.

  “Oh, my bags,” Reign suddenly stopped in the middle of the corridor, belatedly realizing that neither he nor the man showing him the way happened to be carrying the large suitcase that he’d most definitely paid a premium to bring.

  The man just shot him another thousand-watt smile and shook his head. “No worries, Mr. Forester. Your luggage will be in your suite when we get there in just a moment.”

  Oh, right.

  This was a five-star resort, not a no-tell-motel. Of course he wouldn’t have been expected to carry his own luggage to his room. And sure enough, a few moments later, when the man opened the door to a bright, airy, spacious suite, Reign’s beat up suitcase was sitting there waiting.

  “Can I assist you with anything else, Mr. Forester?”

  The man waited patiently with a politely inquisitive look on his face while Reign’s eyes roamed over his luxurious surroundings.

  “No, thank you,” he said, finally, fishing out the few dollars of cash he had in his pocket to give to the man.

  “Thank you,” the man smiled again, so bright and cheerful that Reign wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d been chosen for the job based on that outstanding feature alone. “Enjoy your stay, and just let us know if you need anything at all.”

  Reign’s eyes fell on the champagne just as the man slipped quietly out of the room. He’d found everything he’d be needing for the next few hours, thankyouverymuch.

  For the hundredth time since he’d left Dallas, Reign wondered if it had been a mistake to go ahead and go on the vacation. He had been looking forward to it, though, until the past week. And the small window of time to get a refund had long since passed. He damn sure wasn’t going to be out the money and skip the vacation, even if it meant going alone. And for what? To sit at home alone?

  No, thanks.

  Still, it was hard to reconcile spending ten days on an island when he had a bar back home that was barely staying afloat.

  Whatever. He was paying his handful of employees good money to keep the place going while he was gone, and he knew he could depend on them. He had to learn to let go a little, or at least to loosen up. Over-thinking and micro-managing had always been his downfall—and had, in fact, been just a couple of the excuses Toby had given him when Reign had found him in bed with another man.

  Maybe this trip could be the start of something new. Turning over a new leaf. Letting go of unnecessary stress.

  He popped the cork on the champagne and the faintest hint of a smile passed his lips at the melodic sound of the bubbly liquid filling the glass. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he tried to wipe away all of the anxiety and uncertainty that had been weighing him down.

  The phone rang, and he cracked open an eye. Was it a sign? The universe conspiring to tell him not to get too comfortable?

  Or was he over-thinking that, too? He was pretty sure he knew what Toby would say. But that didn’t really matter anymore, did it?

  Still stressed and decidedly unrelaxed, he reached for the phone.

  “Hello?”

  “Good afternoon, Mr. Forester. This is just a courtesy call to remind you that you have a couple’s massage scheduled in two hours. Would you like directions to the spa?”

  Shit.

  This was definitely the universe fucking with him.

  “No, that won’t be necessary,” he said, trying to hide the irritation in his voice. It wasn’t the desk clerk’s fault his ex had cheated on him and still somehow managed to keep making Reign feel like shit, even from hundreds of miles away.

  “Okay, we’ll see you in a couple of hours then—”

  “No, sorry,” Reign interrupted, completely failing to hide the irritation this time. “That won’t be necessary, either. None of it.”

  “Oh, I see,” she hesitated, then with a hint of uncertainty, added, “should I cancel both massages, then?”

  “Please do. Thank you.” Then, hoping he hadn’t sounded like too much of an ass, “Have a good afternoon.”

  He hung up the phone before she could reply, or worse, ask any more questions about couples. It was literally the last thing he wanted to think about or speak about for the next ten days.

  Reign took a long sip of champagne and sat down in the plush armchair next to him. This was not the way his vacation was supposed to start. It was supposed to be different. Everything was supposed to be different.

  But he knew that nothing was going to change if he didn’t take an active role in making it change. He could wallow in pain and self-pity for ten days in a beautiful hotel suite, or he could get out, sit on the beach, drown his sorrows by the pool—hell, maybe even re-schedule that massage, a single one this time.

  God knows all of his problems will still be waiting for him back in Dallas. The ex, the failing bar, the uncertainty of it all, and he’d have to face all of it on his own. It wasn’t a comforting thought. This room, though—and this hotel, this beach, this island—was comforting, and comfortable, and he was going to make the best of it.

  Besides, things couldn’t get much worse, and he still had plenty of champagne.

  3

  Be
nji

  Benji watched from the balcony of his room as a seemingly endless line of couples paraded to and from the beach below. After Chase had left, he’d had a mini moment of crisis where he wasn’t sure what he was doing or why he was even still on the island, but that had mostly passed.

  And even though he had started to feel a little better about the idea of being on vacation, he still wasn’t sure what exactly he was supposed to do for the rest of the time he was going to be there.

  Alone.

  In his room.

  Is that really what vacation was all about? Doing nothing for days on end? Benji really didn’t think he could handle that. And sure, it would have probably been different—better, no doubt—if he was spending the time with someone else. He could see the appeal of a beautiful hotel on an equally beautiful island if it meant he would be spending the days exploring and the evenings having romantic dinners and making love in the giant bed he had in his cabana.

  That was another reason why he hadn’t really expected Chase to relate to how he was feeling. Chase had always had Benji—well, they’d always had each other—and now, Chase had Jackson. He never had to think about being alone, either on a personal or a professional level. He would always have someone to turn to, someone who would be there to either keep his mind or his body occupied.

  But that was definitely not the case for Benji. Not now, possibly not ever.

  Even on the rare occasion when he’d found the time over the past few years to go on a random date, it hadn’t been anything special. No matter how pretty the woman was, or how much of a match they were supposed to be on paper—or on an app, as the case may be—there was never that chemistry, that spark, that… look that both of his brothers got when they would talk about their spouses.

  Was it too much to want that for himself? That magical, mysterious something that both Chase and Riley had seemed to find out of the blue?

  After thirty years, surely some of their lucky mojo should have rubbed off on Benji, right?

  That was always how their lives seemed to work, though. They always seemed to be in the right place at the right time, and good things just happened to fall into their laps. Not that Benji was jealous, really—he only wanted the best for his brothers and they deserved all the good things that came their way. He just didn’t understand why that sort of thing never happened to him. Maybe he just wasn’t destined for the mystical, magical whatever that his younger brothers seemed to have in spades.

  Not that that was anything new.

  All his life, he’d had to struggle and fight, grind and sweat and work hard for everything he had. And when he hadn’t been working hard on his own behalf, he’d been doing it for Chase. Far from resenting the time he’d spent building Chase’s career, he’d always felt like it was what he’d been called to do—his purpose. It had colored every decision he’d made personally and professionally over the previous decade.

  Now, however, the hard battles had all been fought and won. Chase was on top of the world, and he was sending very clear signals—whether he realized it or not—that he didn’t need Benji, at least not like he used to. But if Benji wasn’t meant to look after Chase anymore and he wasn’t meant to settle down… what else was left?

  It wasn’t a question he liked to spend a lot of time contemplating, but ever since he’d turned thirty years old, it had been on his mind more and more.

  What was really important in life?

  What was he meant to do?

  What mattered most?

  Success? Money? Love?

  He honestly didn’t know. But he did know that he wasn’t going to get any closer to any of those things by staying locked in his room, vacation or not. He could at least relocate to the bar downstairs to continue thinking about it.

  One of those tropical drinks in a tall glass with too much liquor, like the one—or two, or three—that he’d had at Chase’s reception sounded pretty amazing. If he was going to be on his own for the next several days, at least he’d be in a rum and fruit induced haze.

  His mind made up, he quickly changed clothes and grabbed his wallet and room key, closing the door behind him before he could talk himself out of it.

  Once he got downstairs, he took a moment just to appreciate the beauty of the place. It was easy to see why Chase and Jackson had wanted to begin their lives as a married couple there. It was simply magical. Every corner of the resort—even the bar—had the kind of amazing views of the beach and the ocean that Benji could have spent hours admiring. And maybe he would spend hours doing just that over the course of the next several days.

  Drinks first, though.

  The bar was crowded considering it was before sunset, but it made sense. Everyone else that was there was also on vacation, and at a resort that was squarely aimed at couples rather than families, adult beverages went hand in hand with adult recreation.

  Aside from the sheer number of people at the bar, one of the other things Benji noticed was that they all seemed to be paired off. If he was looking for a place where singles congregated, he definitely hadn’t found it.

  If he’d had his brothers’ luck, there would be an available seat right next to an equally available woman. But of course things didn’t work like that in Benji’s world. While there seemed to be one empty stool at the bar, and it was next to the one other single person Benji could see, that person was a man.

  Because that’s just the way fate always seemed to thumb its nose at Benji.

  The man turned to acknowledge Benji as he sat down, and even though Benji had barely been paying attention, he was suddenly struck by the serious look in the man’s eyes. They weren’t the eyes of a man who was having the time of his life. While everyone else around them laughed and flirted, the man next to Benji looked almost miserable, and seemed just as out of place as Benji felt.

  In fact, everything about the man’s demeanor and expression resonated with Benji in a way that made him want to reach out to the slender stranger with the floppy dark hair and tell him that he wasn’t alone.

  He didn’t do that, of course. That would have been weird. But even though striking up a conversation with a stranger in a bar so far from home wasn’t really Benji’s thing, he couldn’t help himself. There was just something about the guy—this stranger who might just be a kindred spirit.

  Benji needed to meet him, to speak to him. His curiosity had been piqued, and he wasn’t going to be able to stop thinking about it until he found out what the guy’s story was.

  And even though it might be out of character for him to stick his nose in a perfect stranger’s business, he was out in the middle of nowhere, a thousand miles from home. The worst that could happen was that the guy might ignore him, and that would leave Benji no worse off than he currently was.

  “What can I get for you?” The bartender’s voice interrupted Benji’s thoughts.

  “Surprise me,” Benji said, barely taking his eyes off the captivating stranger. “But make it something strong.”

  He had a feeling he was going to be there for a while. And he was going to need a little more liquid courage.

  4

  Reign

  It hadn’t taken Reign long to get tired of drinking alone. The champagne was good—really good, actually—but sitting alone in his room had just made him start to get even more lost in his feelings, and even more upset about the circumstances that had led to his being alone.

  So he corked his bottle of champagne and set out for the hotel bar. He’d still be drinking alone, but he’d at least be doing it within sight of other people, and that was… something.

  He’d only been sitting at the bar for about ten minutes—just long enough to order a drink from the beleaguered bartender—but so far he wasn’t feeling any better about his decision to leave the quiet comfort of his room. In fact, he wondered if being there in the middle of a crowded place where nobody seemed to notice him might be making things worse.

  Whatever. He wasn’t there to make friends. H
e just wanted to relax, to get his mind off Toby, and to have a drink or two in a social setting. It didn’t mean he had to be social.

  Reign was letting his mind wander, looking across the room at nothing in particular, when he felt the man’s eyes on him. Aside from a cursory glance in his direction, Reign hadn’t paid much attention when the man had walked up to the bar and sat down on the empty stool to his left, but as the minutes passed, it had become impossible to ignore the fact that the man was looking at him. Watching him. Reign could feel it.

  When Reign couldn’t take it any longer, he finally turned and made eye contact. Holy shit. Had he known how hot the guy was, he would have looked sooner. Not only was he tall and built like a Greek god, with a face that could have been chiseled from marble, but his eyes—they immediately made contact with Reign’s, and sent an electric jolt straight through his body.

  The feeling was intense, and Reign held out a hand to steady himself against the bar as he blinked hard and tried to focus on the Adonis in front of him.

  “Slow night, huh,” the man said, throwing a half-grin in Reign’s direction.

  Reign had no idea what the man was talking about—had barely even heard his low, gravelly voice over the drumbeat of his own heart—but he nodded anyway.

  “Not that I really planned on meeting the woman of my dreams tonight,” the man continued, “but I figured it was worth a shot. I see they’ve all been taken, though.”

  Oh, so that’s what he was talking about. Reign stifled an eye roll and resisted the urge to just turn his back to the handsome stranger with the sexy southern accent. He couldn’t turn away, though. The man was still looking at him, watching, waiting for Reign to reply.

  “Well, I’m gay, so I hadn’t paid much attention,” Reign said, surprising himself. Judging from the wide-eyed look he received, he’d surprised the stranger as well. He hadn’t meant to say all of that, exactly, but he wasn’t in the mood to fake polite conversation.