Where I'm Going Page 4

  Reign flashed him a half-smile. “Like I was saying, neither of us found a date last night, and maybe this is the universe’s—or fate’s—way of saying that’s okay. Like, maybe we should do it again. Except maybe with more food and fewer drinks.”

  Benji grinned. “Is that your weird way of asking me on a date? Because I’m flattered, but I’m still pretty straight.”

  “Oh my God,” Reign laughed. “Get over yourself. I’m not asking you on a date. I’m just saying I’d rather have dinner with you than by myself. But if you’re scared of the gay, that’s cool, too.”

  Benji snorted. He knew Reign was baiting him, but he couldn’t let that go unanswered. “I’m not scared of anything. Well, snakes, maybe. And spiders. But I’m sure as hell not scared of gay guys. Everyone I know and love is gay.”

  Sure, it was maybe a little bit of an exaggeration, but not by much. And, sure, all this talk of dating was starting to feel a little weird, but he had to admit that Reign had brought up a good point. Benji didn’t have any other plans, and the idea of dinner with Reign sounded a hell of a lot better than sitting up in his room by himself for the rest of the night.

  “So, are you up to it?” Reign asked. “Is it a non-date?”

  “Yeah,” Benji nodded. “You’ve got yourself a non-date.”

  “Great. You can pick me up at seven.” Reign threw Benji another bright smile as he stood up. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a massage to get to.”

  Benji couldn’t help but laugh as Reign walked out the door. He’d certainly never met anyone like him before. And if anyone other guy had asked Benji on a date—or even a non-date? Yeah, probably would have been awkward, at best.

  But with Reign, it was just normal. It was fun.

  It was a vacation.

  6

  Reign

  Reign couldn’t remember a time he’d been so nervous for something that wasn’t a date. Or for an actual date, for that matter.

  Although, to be fair, he could barely remember the last time he’d even been on an actual date. After so many years with Toby, they’d definitely fallen into a sort of rut. A rut that hadn’t been helped by Reign’s constant need to be at the bar, particularly once it had started losing money. At that point, he literally couldn’t afford to have anyone else working most of the time.

  The only reason he was even on this vacation in the first place was because he had to. The stress was killing him, and the breakup with Toby had nearly sent him over the edge. He’d convinced himself—with the help of his small but dedicated remaining staff—that he needed the vacation in order to regroup.

  If he could get his life back in order, there was a chance that he could go back home and turn things around at the bar. Maybe.

  His love life, though? That was still beyond hope.

  Whatever.

  At least he had Benji to distract him tonight, and that was better than nothing. In fact, it was better than a lot of things.

  Reign smiled as he remembered how easy and fun their banter had been in the sauna that afternoon. It was rare that Reign immediately connected with someone like that, but with Benji it had been nearly instantaneous.

  Maybe it really was fate.

  Or maybe they were just two bored guys trying to make the best of an unfamiliar situation. Reign preferred to think it was the former, even though the latter was probably a little more accurate.

  The knock on his door pulled Reign from his thoughts. Damn. Was it already seven?

  He looked at the clock by the bed. Yep. Seven o’clock sharp. At least Benji was punctual. Although, in this instance, Reign would have preferred a few more minutes to nervously fret in front of the mirror.

  Reign walked over to the door and took a deep breath. There’s nothing to be nervous about. This is not a date.

  “You didn’t stand me up,” Reign said, mirroring Benji’s grin when he opened the door. Maybe he’d be able to mask his nerves with sarcasm. That usually worked on real dates, anyway. “I thought maybe I’d scared you off.”

  “Not a chance. Besides, I’m starving. There’s not a lot I wouldn’t do for a good meal.”

  Reign raised an eyebrow. “Noted.” He bit back another, more sarcastic reply. No sense in pushing his buttons too early. After all, Reign was hungry, too. “Well, I guess I’m as ready as I’m going to be. My hair feels like hay from this salty air and my skin is dry like a lizard, but hey, it’s not a date, right?”

  Benji crinkled his nose. “That sounds pretty gross, so you’re lucky this isn’t a real date. But if it makes you feel any better, I think you look nice.”

  Reign fell into step next to Benji as they walked down to one of the many beach-side restaurants the resort offered. The genuine compliment had taken him by surprise, and it had also made the butterflies return to his stomach with a vengeance.

  It might not be a real date, but it sure felt like one. Especially once they were seated at the small, intimate table with just a candle between them and the setting sun over the ocean for light.

  “So, did you do anything fun and exciting after you left the sauna this afternoon?” Reign knew the question was lame as soon as it had left his lips, but he was eager to get the conversation going again, in the hopes that it would alleviate some of the anxiety he was feeling.

  Relax. This is not a date.

  Not. A. Date.

  “Fun? Exciting?” Benji smirked. “I read a book on the balcony for a while, checked in at the office, tried really hard not to do any work. And… yeah, that’s about it. Definitely nothing that even approached fun or exciting. I just assumed you had all the fun stuff planned.”

  “Me? If I have to be the fun, spontaneous one, this relationship is in serious trouble already. We might as well call off our non-date.”

  They both laughed, and Reign was finally starting to loosen up. That little spark of something between them was alive and well, thank God. Reign was just going to have to do a better job of keeping his nerves in check. Not. A. Date. But still, there was something about the way Benji looked at him and talked to him—not to mention the way his eyes had roamed over Reign’s naked chest earlier in the day—that gave Reign pause.

  It might not be a date. It might not be anything more than drinks and dinner with a handsome stranger. But then again, it might be something. It was too easy and too fun to think otherwise. If nothing else—and, realistically, there wasn’t going to be anything else—Reign felt like he had made a new friend.

  And that definitely counted as something.

  “I take it that means you’re what the rest of the world likes to call a workaholic, too?”

  Reign nodded at Benji’s assessment. “That’s pretty accurate, yeah. But what do they know?”

  He grinned, but he knew that there weren’t many people who would consider his long hours and single-minded dedication to a failing bar as an endearing quality. Toby certainly hadn’t.

  “I agree. Chase was just on my ass this morning about getting out and having fun—he’s the one who made me go for that massage and steam in the first place. But he doesn’t get it. I’m just wired differently than he is.” He gestured out toward the ocean. “He thrives on things like this, gets inspired and writes beautiful songs about sunsets and beaches and things like that.”

  “And you?”

  “I’m the one who keeps him from failing. I’m the one who makes sure the bills get paid and the tours get scheduled and the merchandise gets shipped. I’m the one who has spent the past ten years making sure everyone in the country knows his name.”

  Reign sat back in his chair and quirked an eyebrow. He’d clearly hit on a nerve with that question, but even though Benji was starting to blush a little and looked more than a little embarrassed by his sudden mini-rant, Reign didn’t fault him for it.

  In fact, if he was being honest, Reign was starting to see that he and Benji were a lot alike.

  A lot alike.

  “Sorry,” Benji said, looking away. “I didn
’t mean to unload all of that on you. I just… I get so frustrated sometimes. I’ve built my career around making sure my brother is taken care of, and I guess it’s a little scary now that he doesn’t need me as much.”

  “He still needs you,” Reign said. “Sure, he might be in a different place now. I mean, he just got married, right? So you’ve gotta cut him a little slack. But people like that need people like us, for all the reasons you just mentioned. That’s just how it is. He might not say it out loud, but I’m sure he realizes it, too.”

  “You’re probably right. And I know he’s thankful for what I do. I didn’t mean to make it sound like I’ve got it so rough. I literally have my dream job. I’m just being dumb.”

  “Not dumb. I feel the same way sometimes. Well, not exactly the same. I don’t have a superstar brother back home or anything like that. But the struggle of needing to feel needed and wanting to solve all the world’s problems is real. And it’s a lot of weight to carry on your shoulders.”

  “That’s the damn truth.”

  They were interrupted for a moment while the waiter came and took their order, thankfully returning at lightning speed with some alcohol. Even just fifteen minutes into their non-date, Reign could tell it was going to be the kind of night that mixed truth and tequila.

  Which was fine. Great, really, since he’d prefer some real talk with someone like Benji to the vapid, idle bar chatter he was likely to find just a few hundred yards up the beach. Or, worse yet, the deafening silence he would have been facing back at his room.

  “So you’ll have to remind me,” Benji said, seemingly back to his easy-breezy self. “Home is back in… Texas?”

  “Dallas, yeah. Lived there all my life.”

  “And you have a… bar? Am I remembering that right?”

  Reign grinned. “I’m impressed. I barely even remember telling you anything about where I lived or what I did. And I’m pretty sure that was after the first two rounds of shots.”

  “I’m pretty sure you’re right. But I try to pay attention. So, what’s your story? What’s it like owning a bar? That sounds like a pretty interesting job.”

  “It has its moments,” Reign smirked. “I opened it a few years ago, after my grandpa passed away. He left me a little bit of money and told me to follow my dreams. The only dream I’ve ever had was to be able to create a safe, friendly space for the LGBT community in my area. I mean, Dallas has plenty of gay bars, but I wanted somewhere that would really foster a sense of community and belonging.” Reign rolled his eyes. “I’m sure that sounds a little too idealistic, but it’s honestly what I was going for.”

  “No, that doesn’t sound too idealistic.” Benji shrugged. “Okay, maybe a little. But for real, that’s the kind of thing the world needs more of. Don’t ever apologize for trying to do good and chase your dreams.”

  Benji’s words were so sincere and the way Benji was looking at him was so intense that Reign had to look away and blink back the tears that had started to well up unexpectedly.

  Jesus. Reign wasn’t even drunk, yet there he was, getting emotional and spilling his guts. But even though there was no doubt Reign was being a little overly-sentimental, Benji didn’t seem to mind. In fact, when he finally looked back, Benji was still watching and waiting patiently.

  He didn’t seem bored, or put off, or even slightly inconvenienced. He was just there, present in the moment.

  It was nice. Really nice, actually. And even though it still definitely wasn’t a date, Reign had to admit that it was the best non-date he’d ever been on. Which was sort of a problem, because he already knew that it was only going to make him want more.

  But Reign also knew that anything more than the easy, fun friendship they already seemed to have was pretty much impossible.

  Still, he was determined to enjoy the time with Benji for what it was, and he was just going to have to do his best not to get his hopes up. And not to read too much into all the countless little ways that Benji would really be the perfect date for a guy like Reign.

  If Benji wasn’t straight, which he decidedly was.

  And if it was actually a date, which it decidedly wasn’t.

  7

  Benji

  Benji had never felt such a connection with another person before—especially not another man—but as they sat and talked through appetizers, entrees, mains and a shared dessert, it had become impossible to deny that Reign was different from anyone Benji had ever met.

  Very different.

  Special.

  He found himself drawn to Reign like a moth to a flame, and while he was still trying to pay close attention to everything Reign said, he found himself getting more and more distracted by Reign’s piercing blue eyes, his generous mouth and easy smile—even his jawline was distracting.

  Benji leaned back and scrubbed a hand over his face. God, he seriously needed to get it together.

  He didn’t understand why he was so affected by Reign, but there was really no getting around it. The practical side of Benji’s brain wanted to identify it, to categorize it, to poke and prod and figure it all out. But for once—and maybe with the help of a little alcohol, although he wasn’t anywhere near drunk after just two glasses of wine—that side of his brain was losing out to the other voice in the back of his head.

  The voice that told him to calm down, to relax, to stop fucking worrying for once in his life and just appreciate the moment for what it was—two people who were enjoying each other’s company.

  When it came down to it, there was really nothing else to figure out.

  “Are you okay?” Reign’s voice broke through Benji’s thoughts, and he belatedly realized he’d lost the thread of their conversation while he’d been trying to drown out the competing voices in his head.

  Not exactly something he wanted to admit on a date. Or… whatever it was they were doing.

  Probably not a date.

  Just two guys. Having dinner. Alone. Talking, laughing, flirting?

  Oh, man.

  “Um, yeah. I’m good, sorry, I was just—” Benji shook his head. Just what? Staring at your eyes. Watching the way your mouth moves. Wondering what it would be like to taste… “I was just thinking maybe we could go walk off some of that dessert? I mean, unless you wanted to call it a night—”

  “No,” Reign interrupted him with another one of those amazing smiles. “I don’t want to call it a night. Not yet. Did you wanna walk down on the beach?” He nodded in the direction of the ocean.

  “Yeah, that’s what I was thinking. I haven’t actually been down to the beach yet, and I should probably have that checked off the list the next time Chase calls to check in on me.”

  Reign laughed. “In that case, we definitely should go down there. You’re not worried it’s gonna look like a date?”

  He had thought about that, as a matter of fact. If he was being honest, it was the only thing he’d been thinking about for the past several minutes. But… who cares? He wasn’t going to talk himself out of spending a little more time with Reign just because of how it might look.

  “I’m not worried. I don’t really care what anyone else thinks. But if someone wants to say something…” Benji shrugged. “Let them come say it to my face.”

  “That’s the spirit,” Reign grinned, standing up from the table. “I’m ready when you are.”

  “Perfect.”

  And as they walked down to the beach, it really did feel perfect.

  Reign kicked off his shoes and walked into the surf, letting the water lap at his ankles. “You should come out here.” He waved Benji over. “The water feels amazing.”

  Benji only hesitated for a moment before he gave in. It’s a vacation. The perfect time to try new things, remember?

  With a silent nod to himself, he waded out into the surf to join Reign. He even left his shoes unattended on the beach—something non-vacation Benji definitely wouldn’t have done.

  By the time he got out there, Reign had already waded a little
deeper, until the water was hitting him at the knees.

  “Hey, wait for me,” Benji called as he slowly trudged through the wet sand and the water that was inching higher and higher on his legs.

  Reign stopped and turned to face Benji, his radiant smile lighting up the night like a beacon. Benji had just about caught up to him when a larger swell crashed into them, soaking them both up to the waist.

  It hadn’t been a huge wave, by any measure, but it had been enough to catch Reign by surprise, and Benji watched in slow motion as the smile slipped from Reign’s face and he started to tip forward.

  Without thinking, Benji lunged forward, his arms outstretched. He caught Reign by the arm, but they were both over-extended. Just as they made contact, another wave crashed into them, sending both men tumbling over.

  In a panic, Benji threw both arms around Reign, grabbing a handful of fabric and pulling as hard as he could toward the shore.

  “I’ve got you,” Benji yelled, planting his feet and dragging Reign upright.

  Beneath the waves, Benji could feel Reign’s feet scrambling for purchase against the shifting sand, and he pulled him even closer, holding him tightly until he felt the tension start to fade from Reign’s body.

  Reign looked up with those bright blue eyes, locking onto Benji’s gaze for several long seconds. Then he burst out laughing. “Oh my God,” he gasped between breaths. “Did we really almost drown in four feet of water just now?”

  Benji shoved a hand back through his soaked hair, clearing some of the water from his face. He’d belatedly realized that Reign’s body was still pressed against him, but Reign didn’t seem to notice, and if he was being honest, Benji had to admit that he didn’t mind.

  He put his arm around Reign’s waist to steady him as they started walking back toward the beach. Finally, Benji let out a little chuckle. “I think maybe I’ll skip this part when I tell Chase about tonight. Oh, shit—” Benji’s eyes went wide as he felt Reign start to slip again.